Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Pity Party!

I'm having a rough week! Most days I try to keep it out of the blog, but I need to vent!! Maybe it's because I've cut back on my soda/soft drink intake!? :) I haven't had one since I can't even remember now. Ok so here goes....
I'm totally over studying!! Every spare minute I have I'm trying to read or I'm typing away madly before Mackenzie wakes up. I've been studying on and off since 2001!! I don't want to do it anymore! I have about five weeks left so I will suck it up and get on with it, but I really don't want to do it anymore!
I'm tired!! Mackenzie is doing this thing now where she goes to sleep at night for about 30 minutes, then she's up again wanting to hang out! It's frustrating because I need to get my study done! Then she's also doing this thing where she wakes up from about 4am, but she's not really awake and cries until I reposition her, then she falls asleep for 30 minutes or more. I would love just one night of uninterrupted sleep!
I'm over being a single Mum! My floors haven't seen a vacuum in I don't know how long! I haven't read for pleasure since who knows when. I would love some time to scrap book! I guess I'm just over this deployment. It's frustrating because I thought I was doing this right. I waited till I found a good man to start a family and I'm doing it on my own....ok it's all out so and I feel a little better, pity party over!
Mackenzie is 19 weeks old today! Apart from the sleeping drama she is just the cutest little thing ever! She's growing so fast! She is a chatterbox, she's in love with Suzie and she is possibly starting to show some independence in her outfits! I tend to show her two different outfits and sometimes she'll smile at one but not the other! She is also doing rather well at sitting up. Some days she can sit up all by herself for at least half a minute before she loses her balance! In case you didn't know I'm really proud of her! :)
John found out too that he will be deploying yet again in the fall. So either September or October we will be on our own again for another six months. He'll be missing Mackenzie's first birthday, Halloween and Thanksgiving. He also won't be here for Christmas. Part of me is glad that Mackenzie is too young is realize that he's not around, but the other part of me is just plain frustrated! He's basically missed out on her entire first year!...but don't let me get the pity party started again!

3 comments:

Jennifer Lane said...

I just had to let you know how proud I am of you for raising Mackenzie all by yourself, taking classes and tending to your house. You are an amazing person.

Amanda said...

Hey Jodi, stick with it!! We are having a rough week too - Henry waking every 2 hours at night - so I started him on solids which has made him a little happier. The tough days and nights are horrible, but they will eventually end, and in a year or so you will hardly remember how hard it was. Keep going - and dont worry about the house - Mackenzie doesnt care!!

Jess said...

((((((HUGS)))))) You're doing an amazing job Jodi and every day will get a little bit easier (or so I've been told). Anyway I hope venting helped a little. I'm sorry to hear about John being deployed again so soon - that sucks.
By the way, I've come across Matt Logelin's blog before - unbelievably tragic. When I first read it I couldn't stop thinking about them for days - it really got to me. Definitely makes you thankful for what you have.
Take it easy! xxxxxx